And Then Everything Changed

A friend once described me as having lived a charmed life, with no major upheavals. And that was largely true until 2009, when Reid, our only child, was killed in a car accident. He was 16.

I became a different woman that day—more vulnerable, more alone. Only a few people seemed to know how to help ease my pain. These friends listened carefully to me and asked kind, perceptive questions. Spending time with them did me a world of good.

Gradually I realized that the activities that most soothed me during those first years without Reid were centered around helping others. Serving people in need or trouble helped bring me out of the terrible darkness. In Sanskrit it’s known as Seva: the kind of deep service to others through which you find yourself.

Walking the path toward Seva, one small step at a time, has proved to be a lifeline for me, a way of coaxing light back into my life.

Selfless service is not the main topic of my writing, though I am still searching for Seva, every day. My journey toward it continues to shape who I am. Occasionally it comes to the surface, as in my recent blog entry “Knowing Chick.” Every day I ask myself: Can I stay awake and alert to other people and what they need?